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17 Tips for My Pre-Motherhood Self

I have been a mom for over two decades. I’ve helped thousands of moms navigate the beautiful, bumpy ride through motherhood. I’m often asked what I wish I had known so many years ago.

Here is the hard-earned advice I’d give my younger, pre-motherhood self:

  1. Go out, experience the world, and revel in your untethered freedom. When it comes time to nest, you will be ready to fully delight in the two greatest gifts of your life.

  2. Discover what lights you up. When the babies arrive, as challenging as it might initially seem, keep that inner flame burning by carving out time for what energizes you and makes you feel alive outside of motherhood.

  3. Practice mindfulness, if even for a few moments a day—for calm, insight, and the invaluable ability to choose your response over reacting habitually.

  4. Be kind and loving with yourself. Your children will model everything you do and say.

  5. Familiarize yourself with your gut instinct (mindfulness helps with this) and follow it. Trust that you know your children’s unique personalities and needs better than anyone.

  6. Enjoy that young, perky body as yet untouched by gravity and birthing children.

  7. In the early days, you will weep from exhaustion, dig deep for courage, and require help. Accept it freely and gratefully.

  8. Relish the currently uninterrupted sleep, free time, and leisurely dinners. You will miss it but will adore the little creatures that take their place even more.

  9. Lose the perfectionism. Repeat after me: Good enough is great.

  10. You will become a fierce Mama Bear when you witness a child hurting. Use that strength to help and heal others.

  11. Stay connected to your friends, leaning on each other in the tough moments and laughing in the beautiful ones.

  12. Choose your partner carefully and build a solid, loving, supportive relationship. You will need to draw on that when your own inner reserves run low.

  13. Your kids will broaden your emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical courage exponentially.

  14. They will remind you how to play, be silly, and view the world through their eyes.

  15. You will be peed and vomited upon, nurse many boo boos, and dry countless tears. In spite of this you will gaze into your children’s eyes in wonder and utter gratitude daily.

  16. You will learn the delicate art of flexibility, letting go, and going with the flow. (Imperfectly. See lose the perfectionism.)

  17. Motherhood will confound you, expand your heart, and challenge you in such unexpected ways you will feel compelled to write a book about it… Breathe, Mama, Breathe. Indeed.


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