Recently, I shared my latest encounter with messy, uncomfortable life transitions and the inevitable resultant growth.
Like most of us, I, too, instinctively resist change and do not always recognize when I am holding myself back from evolving. It is here that we can remain stuck longer than necessary—caught in outdated roles, unhelpful stories, and obsolete expectations of ourselves. In hindsight, of course, it is clear. Not so when we’re in the midst of wrestling with it.
The good news is that we are free, at any time, to change.
Because I endeavor to practice what I preach, I eventually—with plenty of fits and starts—scuffled my way through and recalibrated the balance. This required an imperfect mix of values and goals reevaluation, one-step-in-front-of-the-other-actions, an attitude of experimentation and curiosity, and a hefty dose of not-always-easy-to-come-by self-compassion.
Though fear typically accompanies change, when we persist, a boost of energy pulls us forward into exciting new territory where the real growth occurs and the magic of iteration and transformation can flourish.
When our values match up with our actions, we might say we are in alignment—that visceral sense of it just feels right—essentially the opposite of resistance.
We teach what we need to learn, the saying goes. Hence, my life and work tend to run along parallel lines. Not only does this make sense intellectually but also just feels right.
For many years my work with moms felt fully aligned for me. Somewhere along the way, though, it began to shift, so subtly and slowly it took some time for me to acknowledge it.
Breathe Mama Breathe, in some ways, feels like one of my babies—created and nurtured both for myself and all the moms in the trenches with little ones. And though I can vividly remember much about new motherhood, it is far from my current experience.
Eternally, I regard new moms with deep compassion, respect, and hope.
It’s taken some time to accept that, as our children do, Breathe Mama Breathe is growing up. I’ve been deeply conflicted about letting go. Yes, this work still needs me at times (and I will gladly give the occasional talk or podcast interview), but overall she is thriving independently and I am shifting my focus.
I’ m not quite sure when or how it happened, but it seems I’ve arrived squarely in midlife. (Actually, it occurred some years back. I must not have been paying attention. Or was in denial. Likely both.)
Anyway. For a while I’ve been diligently researching, reading, listening to podcasts in search of answers to questions about midlife.
Not surprisingly, the focus of my work has started to follow suit. I realized many of my clients are with me in this midlife demographic. It is a time of adjustment, change, growth. Often accompanied by anxiety, overwhelm, and feeling unsettled. They are struggling. They are awesome. And I love mentoring them through it.
As I continue to bring you life balance, female empowerment, tools, habits, and evidence-based tips, I will be doing so through the lens of midlife rather than new motherhood.
Instead of resisting, I am following my curiosity. I’m not yet sure how all of this will evolve and I’m willing to give it a go.
I’d love for you to come along for the ride as I explore this fascinating, maddening, possibility-laden time of life.