Much has been written about Adam Grant’s NYTimes article on languishing during the pandemic—essentially giving a name to that common meh feeling located on the mental health spectrum somewhere between depression and thriving.
(If you don’t know to what I am referring, where have you been? Ohhh, keeping the children alive and surviving during a pandemic?! You can read it here.)
Instinctively, we humans breathe a collective sigh of relief to hear there is a designated term for the overarching feeling so many of us have been experiencing. It means we’re not alone.
Some practical antidotes to languishing, according to Grant, are finding pockets of uninterrupted time, striving toward small goals, seeking out enjoyable experiences, and engaging in meaningful work.
And I concur. All of the above are necessary prescriptions for anyone seeking an engaged, thriving life. In fact, I believe those habits, purpose, and engaged work played a large role in my not experiencing much languishing throughout the pandemic and why I am so focused on helping others create their anti-languishing plan, as well.
Sure, it takes a bit of effort and intention. I get it.
When my now college-aged daughter was a wee toddler, I was not yet aware of the power of such antidotes. I was chronically tired, over-focused on mothering and under-focused on my own care, dutifully plugging along at my work; not unhappy, yet certainly not highly engaged.
Despite so much good in my life, my brain felt foggy, my body heavy, my life a bit lackluster, my personality dull around the edges. I was not at my best for my daughter, husband, or my clients, let alone for myself.
I encounter this phenomenon all the time with moms who have forgotten what it’s like to put themselves first occasionally.
The therapist in me cannot help but chime in and conjure up a newly named diagnosis for this malady. I call it:
Misplaced My Personality Disorder—Prevalent in high-achieving women who can’t remember what lights them up outside of motherhood, the symptoms include boredom and low-level discontent.
A close cousin to languishing, Misplaced My Personality Disorder is differentiated by a
hefty dose of Mom Guilt for wanting more (ostensibly not appreciating all they do have), along with a heaping portion of self-judgment and never-good-enough-itis.
The good news is that Misplaced My Personality Disorder is neither lethal nor irreversible.
Breathe Mama Breathe (R)evolution is my anti-languishing plan specifically for moms.
With the right mix of untangling the myth of perfect motherhood, permission to put ourselves first, personal group coaching, and a unique blend of mindful empowerment tools, we can recover from this soul-sucking disorder—and feel fully alive and engaged once again.
If this resonates with you, set up a call to see if Breathe Mama Breathe (R)evolution is the right fit for you.